I'm not gonna lie...
Forgiving people in a timely manner is not my strongest suit, lol. I hold grudges until i forget why i was mad in the first place, but i knew i was mad so I'd act accordingly just to be consistent. Sometimes my brother and i would get into a disagreement and we wouldn't talk to each other for weeks, i didn't help the situation with my stubborn ass. I know its a stupid way to be but i am a prideful dude. Once I'm burned by someone i temporarily hate them a lil and reconciliation is not even a thought. There were two times throughout my life where i forgave someone for a transgression in a timely manner.
1. was when my brother was actin stupid with my moms and i automatically chose my mothers side. The next day i went up to him and told him the reason i was acting so off towards him
2. was late last year when my ex slapped me on impulse for some stupid ass reason i forgave her like hmmm 35 minutes later.
But that was my chick and family; i dont have that special place in my heart for other people. They can rott for all i care, its whatever [at least until i get cool with em again]
I dont want to show weakness and to forgive someone would mean that you are admitting that you have been made a victim and i don't like playing that role, especially when it comes to some people. So when someone says they are sorry to me i get stuck on what to say, do i say thank you? lol like...yeah you are admitting you were wrong in my perspective saying "im sorry" is something someone does to make themselves feel better. You arent saying you're sorry for my behalf cuz saying sorry says that what you did was wrong; does that eliminate your past transgressions automatically?? Shit the words on an IM box does not erase unless you close the box and turn off your computer first, and im definitely not tryin to do that on account of your fuck up...
***Lighten up D***
I dont figure it a weakness because it strengthens me in a wierd way, it blocks me from relying on other people for my happiness. I was around people who needed a sorry from other people otherwise they would be sour all day and their world would turn upside down. Then when they get their sorry they are all hunky dory. Maybe i should work on it a little i mean i did get the pussy that night i forgave my ex so... ehh who knows
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