Haven’t posted since 2018.
Not about to do an entire recap might catch up though a post at a time
So people even still use this anymore?
Who cares
Main thing I want to do right now is record my thoughts as a new father.
More on that later…
My wife and I
More on that later …
Are 8 months in raising a new human being. She’s a girl. I’m officially a girl dad and my spirit is percolating in ways I could have never imagined.
I was so hoping for a boy but when they said girl all I wanted was for her to be here.
And out she came
I wanna write the experience down some so definitely more on delivery later.
But yea we’re 8 months in aaand it’s been crazy.
She’s amazing. Happy Healthy and brimming with personality already.
I came here as she hit another milestone and I wanted to write down how I felt about it. I have been feeling so much lately it’s hard to actually sit down with it all and take it all in with zero crumbs left. It gets overwhelming and I get physically emotional and then it transforms into something else or something else happens and then I get busy and …
Idk I feel like in order to process the gravity of the situations and milestones and to give it enough time and weight I should write it down so that it can last forever
I hope..
Anyway
She said dada when I came home from work today. 6/3/25.
My heart floated in a sea of love
I mean…my wife has sent me a video of her saying it early last week but she said “dada” in a sea of babble. Before and after the d.a.d.a came out her mouth, it was a bunch of baba nana haha lala’s lol . Granted she said the word that sounded like dada somewhere in there and I felt it when she said it then but i attributed it to her just babbling. Still didn’t stop me from tearing up a little at work but I knew what it was lol .
Today though I caught her attempting to mimic the things I say. It was for a good 5 seconds but I caught it so I just said dada slow and purposefully and bam she repeated it right after me.
So fkn decent!!!! Hahah I was so happy. lol
She said mama like a few weeks ago so i was ecstatic .
Granted she has a few ways to go before actually calling me dada but we’re getting there
I know it seems like I’m overqualifying an event and kicking a meaning can down the road but every bit of it means something to me.
I love her so much and dad , dada, pa, , father hasn’t really meant much of anything to me prior to her birth. She’s literally teaching me what a father means to somebody …she teaches me what a father means everyday in real time !
And guess what…
And I’m supposed to be the fkn father!!! Lolol
How crazy is that?!
It’s not like I came through via immaculate conception. I had a father too. I still do…. kind of
More on that later.
And I’m sure when I was a baby, when I was her age, I was happy when he came home from work (if he ever lived with us back in 86). I was happy when he woke up from sleep (if he was around at that time). I was happy when I was looking at him for extended periods of time, and he just glanced my way and looked at me and I start smiling🤷🏿♂️.
If he was around during this time,…
Like ..I’m sure it happened.
I don’t remember it though , probably because we’re talking about my eight month old baby And a time period in which I was around the same age who remembers that bullshit.
I guess I’m realizing what I mean to baby and the gravity of what I mean to her and how it shows itself in regular interaction is kinda new to me. It’s jarring, it makes me happy, it makes me want to do more, be more and I’m so grateful for all of it
Like I’m really her dad and she knows it and she’s happy because of it. She’s such a blessing I’m happy I’ve been chosen by God to be her dad. And I take the responsibility of it so so serious.
Despite the fact that she sees me as Superman and I can’t relate because i never had one won’t stop me from trying to live up to the title and that’s what it’s all about.
