"Weak" was written in my head as I was on my way home from some situation I been through with my now girlfriend. I felt bad not writing it down cuz it needed to recorded. It doesn't apply to JUST her.
Neither does it apply to all women.
Audience, if you are out there, chances are you know who I'm talking about.
The needy/clingy
The insecure
The self defeatist
The weak
I'm sick of em b.
Yeah, its harsh , but I'm not all there myself. See, I'm emotionally unavailable. I'll admit to my weaknesses (if you can call it that). I would say emotionally void but the "unavailable" term or the term emotionally awkward describes me perfectly.
So you could see where I come from.
If you can't ...peep this...and I'm not boasting, I'm trying to paint a picture.
1) I've fallen in love 2 times. The first time, I fell out of"love"a week later. The second time, I fell out of love anywhere between 6months to a year and a half in the relationship. Not sure when it happened but I'm not about to open up that can.
2) I hardly ever say " I love you" to anyone. Not those two females I alluded to above nor my mother and other family members. I'll reciprocate the notion if someone says it to me but I'll rarely come out and state it.
That's not to say I don't love my family though.
Cuz I do..
But there's this meme going around that states :"what's understood does not need to be explained". Something like that. Its sums my attitude about it nicely.
3) I don't understand the healing power of hugs. I was told that they can be comforting. Sex is comforting too tho. So is alone time and meditation.
4) I don't understand venting. I've tried it but I'd rather keep to myself and try to fix the issue. People are different though and I'm a decent listener.
Whatever... please believe that neediness and emotional hand holding is not for me. I'm not the one for it, not cuz I don't want to... its because I do not understand the need. When you whine to me over something, chances are that ill look at you as if you are a whiny child. Like yo, here you are, you're trying to get me to help you, and you end up annoying me. It ain't your fault, that's just how I see things in my head. It's like we speak a different language. It's like I have on the proverbial emotional beer goggles. I just think differently when confronted by that kind of stimuli. *Kanye Shrug*,
If I have an issue, I handle it, I forget about it, I move on. My ideal woman is a woman who is sorta like me. Someone I don't have to baby. Someone who is mentally strong. She don't gotta be cold, just don't be weak.
Anyway
I was just upset that I couldn't find that person. Then I look up and down my fb timeline and instagram timeline and I see women who have turned super soft as a result of being dicked down by a male flavor of the month.
Months before, those same women were bad mouthing the last guy lol. talking shit and boasting about their ability to be without their former significant other when before they couldn't live without em. At least that's what it looked like in my POV. Its a cycle and I'm just sick of the phoniness.
Show ya strength.... whether you're alone or otherwise.
Why is it that people, more specifically women, habitually and routinely fail to show their strength??
A woman can be in a relationship with someone and revert to what appears to be toddler like behavior. They all of a sudden rest on their laurels and just stop trying to be emotionally self sufficient. Just cuz u talking to someone or are in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you get to start being emo child.
"Oh my day is bad... fuck what you're currently doing and listen to me whine about shit."
"I need a hug, come to the opposite end of town and give it to me...never mind that we were within 5 minutes of each other an hour ago and I'm coming at you with this now."
"Oh no you aren't heeding my requests at the time it was requested even though you got shit to do.. this is a major indication of a character flaw you possess."
"I need you."
Or
"#him"
"#him is everything right now"
"I don't know what id do without #him"
Yadda yadda, u get the picture.
Then when things eventually dissolve and y'all break up NOW she wanna show strength, now she wants to be Ms independent, now she wants to grow up and have an emotional backbone.
"Team single"
"Fuck Nigs get Money"
"Can't raise a man"
"Nigs ain't shit"
"Guys are all dogs"
Posting blog posts about how men ain't shit and that they are immature/whatever!!!
Where was that attitude when y'all were together. Where was that strength when you were arguing with that man over some menial bull s*** . When did you become a 20 something year old again?? Look who's back.
I may be insensitive but yeah the hypocrisy is staggering. Its retarded. if you are a strong woman show that s*** all the time . Not just when it's convenient or when you're hurt or when you're not with somebody. Because it's that strength that probably brought a man to you. No one wants an emotional ball and chain. Especially a person like myself who values his own strength and the strength he sees in others.
Like yo....my ideal chick is Claire Underwood from House of Cards. Not because she's white, but because she's in touch with her emotions but she does not let them rule her. She doesn't fight with Frank over bullshit and she is objective oriented. Team player. Frank doesn't have to carry her.
Hmmm....
We can all dream tho.
