Wow today (weds 1/20) I ain't do much drinking but info was exchanged.
Yeah from the words of my aunt and grandma someone in Haiti tried to kill me back when I was over there in 91'. Lol Tati (aunt) said that people were lookin at me and my brother cause we came over from NYC or the states in general. They tellin me stories of people would be outside my window whispering my name an isht, they call these people jab (jahb) now me I think it's some super superstitious isht but people believe in that kinda stuff shit grandma (in a way to rationalize the quake) says that it's Gods way of punishing the jahb n the bad people, but she just distraught over the whole thing.
I also learned that I was in Haiti very early on in my life when I was 2. It was then my good friend who I mentioned before "lundi" pushed me n she broke my tooth n isht. Lol madda fact I learned her name wasn't "lundi" but "nandi". After the story I cautiously asked my aunt her fate after the quake...she said that she's in nursing school in Miami lol. It wasn't all good news tho our only neighbor back when we were in port-au prince is dead, not cause of the quake, he died very poor and was walkin the port-au-prince streets an old panhandler. Sad shit cuz dude taught me how to type n isht. Well he tried.. Lol
Ehh it was a very nostalgic day. Today...again. Went past my uncles crib n I felt like a stranger.... We was never really close wit that family due to isht but it was wierd seeing them...didn't see all of em but still maybe it was best, who knows.
Iite so here go another one I've promised to write about previously.
Iite dad pops assclown lol.
I don't make it a habit of even thinking bout this dude (much less blogging about him) but i since i havent mentioned him on here ever annnnd ...hekindahassomethingtodowithmeexisting (lol) and he was brought up by me me in a previous post i might as well record the backstory a lil...
Anyway
ummm he wasn't always a ghost sometimes he was kinda there. And me being the wide eyed-in need of and fatherly influence type of child I was I was cool with it shit i was elated at times. Sometimes we ( me n my brother) would do the crying thing when he pulled a no show (alot) but we were kids anyway and he was our dad we took it to heart as kids do. As we got up there in age the further apart from our father we became. Although we revered him as kids we also feared him. He was just a stern ass traditional haitian dude who can be some kind of an an ass-sphincter at times especially to my mother and although we were both boys and we saw our flawed father as if he could do no wrong we loved ( & still do) our moms. So I resented him for that. As we grew up his bullox became more evident, especially in my eyes. Slowly but surely . His personality wasn't complimentary to mine, he never supported he only sought to tear down. He basically held me back if I grew up under his "rule" I would a completely different person today lol i have pics to prove it. Havin me dressin like Urkel n shit. I would have been miserable up to this point in my life!! LoL
Anyway I remember we had a falling out cause he wanted me to wear some type of dress shirt and his tone bugged me so much that it got to the point where I was about to cuss him out on some oedipus shit but moms stopped me. Ever since that altercation i had no words with the man. See most people they would say dumbness like "ohh do u miss him". Shit even when I was goin to therapy the lady would constantly ask about this nigga like he had such a profound effect on my life, like i was still 5! He didn't, he was just there and when he was there I disliked him. He's an embarrassment, he's a liar, he abuses women, he's a dictator and he's a deadbeat whats to like about dude. Like damn I don't understand how people can give him so much credit lol; I don't even pronounce the last name the way his fam does. To be honest when i see a child and his father on the street or wherever I don't think about what i don't have cause i never liked what i had... being a son was a burden, it was a cage. Instead I think about what I'm gonna be like when I'm a father and how I'm gonna be naturally better at it than he could possibly fathom.
Sent from my iPod
Yeah looks like Ima be sending this money talks DVD back, smh. At least cooley high doesn't skip smh some times shit with the used tag...smh it's risky lemme just say that.
Any way I ain't done shit tnite. Nothin social at least well ibwas on the phone for an hour wit Jbird. Jbird just a nickname shit lemme just say JS. she is by no means a bird lol don't get it tangled&twisted Don don't fucc wit birds or rats unless they profound and celibate... And willing to break that wi me lol.
anyway js is a chick I met from work I talked about her before. That's another post though.
Some noteabke shit from today
Yo I woke up this morning to a story about how my cousin got into it with his mom.
He is 12...uhhh 13 years old.
I can't say it's suprising. Shit I was still in my post sleep state after moms told me. We were all a witness to him being spoiled by his mom and time and time Again I would say either aloud or to myself that his spoiled ass would backfire on her. Smh low and behold 13 years later it's apparent that's she payin for it. While he was here I noticed he has a tendencyto talk shit while he gettin scolded. And his mom wud get so pissed that she smacked him upside the dome or hit him with a shoe on some od shit. I mean I'm no softie but using a weapon is a nono always has been in my book! The only allowable foreign object when it comes to a parent child disciplinary relationship is a belt. Even the buckle is od even though statistics show that more and more parents are using that part on they childs hindparts nowadays lol (jk). When i was younger i remember staying over this chicks house (her moms was my sitter) and she would get her ass WHIPPED. I remember her mom hitting her with an umbrella n shit. it was traumatic as hell to see. In this day and age where does one draw the line between disipline and abuse? not to say that my aunt is abusing my cousin cuz that certainly is not the case, she just doing extra to get through to him even though its not working. I think the only reason he lashed back at my aunt the way he did was behind some od shit like that. There comes a point where one gets tired of gettin hit with the belt. my last year of getting whuppings (14-15 years) I faked the pain. Shit or I wouldn't even yell even tho that made it kinda worse lol!
Anyway my mom wants me to talk to my cous n tell him what's good. In my groggy state i replied: "where the fucc is his father!" ( I ain't say fuck) lol but yeah why me? Then I realized that maybe it is a good idea since i know what i know (above..conflict between a growing boy and his traditional disciplinary mom). I'll see where his heads at soon enough.
In other news moms talked my pops today smh I hate when she initiates contact with this nigga. Anyway... That's another long ass post too so I owe y'all .... I'm goin to sleep it 3 in the mornin.... I Need some pooms (pussy)...
...ok I owe y'all three posts
PZ
