Umm yeah i wanna kill my dogg, not now but before i wanted to ring his neck. I'm not patient and i know this and I also know that I'm whiling out for even thinking this but damn does he have to bark EVERYFUCKINTIME a dog is in his sights. Does he have something against every fucking mutt in existence like what the fuck! Its fuckin embarrasing even when i tell him to shut the eff up he just doesn't; yeah at first i was amused by it but d'mn the shit gets old.
looks like the second best thing at this point will be tossin his nuts in the grinder, that will calm him down some
or dont walk him till he shits everywhere and then mom would get rid of him...
Too much info
Too much anger
I only half mean it...
I need to chill; he's just a dog. wooooosahhh
Yeah lol i def oded at least i aint show it outwardly cuz a dogs gonna be a dog. It is what it is. Pro training is def in order even tho i taught it some new tricks obedience training and some socialization is def needed. I didnt mean it just ventilation
people said a black man would be president when pigs could fly.. 100 days later ... swine flu - Kit
LOLOL
"In other news" (EDIT)
he was born on the 16th 1+6=7;
he was shot on september 7th;
he died 7days after he was shot;
he died at 25, 2+5; the time he died was 4:03 4+0+3; 12 shots fired 5 hit him 12-5
With all that superstition to be out in the world the last thing a fan like me needs is for pics of Tupac at a Celtics game from last week or pics of him with 50 cent. If these pics are superimposed or photoshopped someone needs to expose it cuz im tired of wondering if this niggas alive n shit. I'd dream that he'd come out at a lil wayne concert n shit ( I saw that video too) on stage performing, the crowd stunned and crying n shit. The questioning of him being alive is really making him almost more than human lol sorta like what the white folk do with elvis back in the day. I wonder if that was his plan...
Mhmmm iunno what it is but "Mother Nature" from that new Vitamin water commercial can get IT. Something about her runnin an office filled with animals just makes me think she's great in bed. I like the natural look of her hair (love the naturale look). She looks feisty she got that zeal lol.
Mother Nature: 10 calorie vitamin water: can get it
(SIGH) UUUUUGGHH
i wish i was in Albany right now, I'm missing fountain day.
My plan was to get a job then go to Fountain Day and ball out. Drinks, sex and debauchery lol but instead im holdin on to X amount of dollars waiting for one of the many positions I applied for to call me back. I'd probably be having all types of drunk sex with my ex after a night ot dubbing. Only to wake up have sex again then hit Empire for more drinks, catch up with a few people then hit the fountain. SHit FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously
Thats all
-DV-
| Today from RevRuns newsletter Good morning. The best way to disconnect from wrong people is to become obsessed with doing the right thing! When your obsession is to do the right thing, wrong people will find you unbearable. Believe me that overweight, lazy, unfocused people will not follow you to the gym! Nor do those up to no good,do they reeeaaaally wanna tag along for the ride to the Synagogue, the Mosque or the Bishop TD Jakes Mega fest!? Lol! (Stay focused!) |
| God is Love Rev Run |
| Read more at Run's Words of Wisdom at globalgrind.com/revrun. Follow the Rev on twitter: RevRunWisdom Defenitely not mad i signed up for that, Rev Run spits wisdom....either that or he knows where to find wise words Ive never looked at it that way and it is probably true. a "do gooder's" lifestyle is kryptonite to a "bad person" they simply aint having it. I just thought it was worth keeping here.... -D.Veezzy |
As i get to know certain females i get this question in one form or another:
How do you feel about kids?
Do you like kids?
Depending on how i feel i will answer truthfully or not but most of the time I tell em what i feel. This chick i'm talking to Pharren is her name she asked me how much kids i want and i told her ONE, UNO, UN...
She was like "What! i want at least five kids"
I was like "ohhh wow, thats wassup" but inside my head i was a bit more cynical. In times like these having kids is baggage. I'm just being honest, if you have five kids what can you do other than take care of em. One homegirl i messed with was 20 and she has three kids, in my head im like, your life is over...well not really cuz if she had them NOW as she grows so will they and once they are 18-20 she did the mother thing and she can focus on her. [Philly is notorious for single, young mothers, i swear to the clouds]. I feel like her situation can be looked at in a negative and a positive light but u have to look for it. I want one kid because i need flexibility in my life at all times. I don't want nothing in stone [except my wife of course], if i wanna pack my family and move to paris i can do that with one kid and it will be easier. I can be a better provider for the family if we have one kid cuz the economy will never be the same [even after the depression]. And i dont have to fork over sooo much cash for child care n isht. I want a new whip boom, i want to buy a house i can. Kids can change ones life, i don't want my vision of the future to be changed at least not by much.
Another reason i dont have condomless sex, Baby Mama drama aint the life for me; NOT AT ALL. I'm hearing stories from blogs and other forms of storytelling {W.O.M}. I like life simple, i only have to worry (and fund) my own damn self.
ehh
thats all
lol
I wasn't always a laid back dude, I do feel I am an extremist though, at least when it comes to certain things.
When i was a lil youngin I was rambunctious and foolhardy (yes i said em) I was somewhat aggressive when i needed to be. I was chill but i wouldn't hesitate to start fights because words werent my forte. Instead of going through long drawn out beefs i'd just fight the nigga/friend/person...whoever, it was easier and it was an outlet. Ohhh G&D when i fought it was amazing i felt goood, specially after the first punch is thrown. There would be a while when the two people fighting would just stare at each other waiting for the other to make the first move, eventually homie or I would move and it would be on and popping. and in a weird way i couldnt wait to feel the first punch hit me, cuz if it didn't hurt like i expected it to it would give me the realization that i would win the fight, it just depends if i wanna really hurt someone. I would be crazy with it too, Eddie M's face was targeted by me in one fight cuz i didn't like the fact he was gettin bitches (just an example). I was soo angry and it wasnt getting out in anyother way but violence. Friends would catch it, enemies, frienemies ( i had a good amount of those in grade school)......
:-(
even family would be an outlet for my anger. I'd do some hayness shit to my siblings. My brother got hurt by me a fair amount of times. I pushed my cousin down some stairs, umm knocked my cuz's dome into a closet doornob... just some notables. My aggression had me estranged from my fam for a lil while, it was like i was a dictator and they were my peons.
A turning point in my life was when i fought my brother over some dumb ass captain crunch, i was taking karate at the time so i pulled all types of moves on him and it hit me that i was OD-ing, just watching him cry like... umm it like made me realize that I was doing this to my blood over some stupid cereal, the cereal spilled all over the floor and there he was crying...i couldnt help but stare cuz i didnt know what to do, i felt helpless like...u know when u were a kid and u know u did something wrong that you froze, scared to move.
At that point as i'm watching homie bawl i promised myself that i wouldnt hit him or any of my other fam unless i really fuck up a stranger, or someone who deserved it (twisted logic but i was a kid). I fought some more but that opened the door to years of unknown pacifism. It wasnt my intention not to fight anymore but it just worked out that way, my outlook on life changed and somethings werent worth fighting for any more or dying over cuz niggas is pussy nowadays.
I haven't broke fist in face since the 8th grade. I wasnt even sure i could fight anymore until i started boxing last year but i havent sparred w/ anyone, just a bag. I wouldnt even slapbox w/ niggas in fear of me not being able to stop if my nose was hit wrong (sensetive). Although ive calmed down a lil i do feel it still inside me not to be cliche but its like a sleeping giant....Got help me and the next nigga i fight
:- P
Well...if you dont know or don't care There is a documentary out chronicling the life of Mike Tyson. Ever since i was able to comprehend sports and fighting this nigga has been a person of interest. I wasn't well versed in the boxing world but I was always rooting for Mike. Whether he's knocking some asshole out or marrying golddiggers i would root for the nigga. He looks like a maniac but that was who he was, or so I thought. This movie was an eye opener, ive seen a couple tid bits about the nigga but to hear it from his mouth makes it real. I feel sorry for the dude, he wasn't ready for the places his talent took him. He stepped beyond his station. When his manager died its like he was vulnerable to the wolves, he lost focus, he dabbled in debauchery, he hooked up with Don King (who should be shot). His career, all his money went in a freefall, just like that!! One day you the Undisputed Champ and the next you in jail or you bankrupt. His story is an inspiration but for the wrong reasons, people should see this and not do what Tyson did. I feel like i can relate to him, the way he grew up and all. I was soft spoken, timid, always fighting for some shit, whether it would be for respect or for stupid shit. He just had a way out and reversed it he was a fat ass nerd ass nigga and he was a machine by 18. Maybe it ruined him, cuz like he said that shit has an affect on you. I feel like i relate to niggas like Tyson and Tupac (niggas that aint good for people, for themselves, volatile) its just that i don't have the medium and the freedom to bring it all out, it comes out though, little by little. I dont have the strength to run with it and im cool with that cuz opening that would be like opening a can of dogfood (smells real bad). Ima probably go boxing tommorow, i dont have any gloves but i do have a pair of wraps, i got into it about a year ago, i stopped during the summer though but i feel like taking some aggression out....
hmmm we should go into my aggression
Lyrics to Lady Brown :
(feat. Cise Starr (from CYNE))
[Verse 1:]
Crush a coal to a diamond
Eyes forever shining
Your beauty alone inspire a niggah to rhyming
Thinking of the better things in life
Thinking of how I could persuade you to become my wife
Hand in hand as we floating over tropical sands
You my lady, I'm ya man
So let's futher advance to the next scene
Me sleeping next to you resting
You are the personification of all God's blessings
Coming to me in just one physical being
One physical dream that I wanna redeem
You're Voluptuous
Sweet caramel brown honeydew
Satin skin smooth to the touch, what a niggah do
So sensual
Her smile like a chemical extract of perfection
Rare mineral
She smell like a happy birthday on a Thursday
Quiet time love sleep in I wake early
[Chorus:]
Honey brown wit the long black hair
Teasing me with a kiss and a stare
Slight touch and you taking me there
So fine and it just ain't fair
So beautiful and so damn rare
[Verse 2:]
She's angelic and energetic
Using sex as a weapon
I reckon that I'm confessing
Her body is just a blessing from God Down to earth
She needs to be in a church to prove that
We didn't spawn from fish but God's work
Hurts to see her clothed cause her body beholds
Secrets untold valued like platinum and gold
For she is the key to open my mind to see
The energy that radiates from the gates of heavenly bliss
I reminisce over touch and kiss
While you fucking a bitch I go make love to my miss
Never scandalous
It unanimous that the how i handled it
Lights off and candle lit rooms and glamorous
Yo I call you love sexual you look edible
Parallel snuggle up close intellectual
In a rendezvous who are you in wrap hairdo
No makeup in jean shorts open toe shoe
I wanna hold you mold ya soul I behold you
Know you better than myself never own you
But keep you never leave you
I beseech you
Gods gift to man is you wearing a see through
Riding Seadoos in Atlantic Ocean
Causing commotion
Lay you down going through the motions
Keep ya skin soft lotions got me coasting
Down pretty round brown thighs the candles low lit
[Chorus:]
Honey brown wit the long black hair
Teasing me with a kiss and a stare
Slight touch and you taking me there
So fine and it just ain't fair
So beautiful and so damn rare
[Verse 3:]
Look at this agreeable
Delightful, delectable
Unforgettable
So sweet she may be edible
She needs a pedestal To step out of heaven you ready boo
Never hypothetical you factual and magical
Fuck theatrical
Baby girl because you actual
Physically your chemistry is so mathematical
Had to use academics to define your spirit
You lifting my limits
Your name off my tongue is a lyric
She's a compilation of my minds representation
Of a representative
Representing an excellent revelation of time and dedication
Never impatient
She know the deal
Revealed herself to me
So I can see Her heavenly ways
Her heavenly gaze
And plus it don't hurt that she has an ass for days (OK)
So as we lay I reminisce on the day that we met
Please god never let me forget
This song BUMPS...it makes me think... The woman Cise is describing sounds amazing, I wouldn't be mad at meeting such a chick that makes me wanna describe her in such a way. Imagine meeting a woman that appeals to your very being, a woman that will fire all type of synapses in your head, leaving you drugged by her very existence. Is that even possible??? Is this what love is called??
I'm 23 years old and I've never been in love...
Im not mad or happy about it at all, it is what it is. It just makes me wonder. Love is like the holy spirit to me, I would always hear about it from other people but I would question its existence a little. If love do exist why do so many people claim to be in a state of love but wind up cheating on their S/O, or divorcing their S/O....irreconcilable differences?? I thought love can outlast anything. If love was such a finality how come people can love two different people, sometimes at the same time? It seems that the only thing thats true about love is the negatives (I.E, love can make you do crazy things, blinded by love etc etc) cause ive seen people claim they've been in love and they have done some outlandish shit in the name of love. I have a hard time seeing the good, other than the overt infatuation. JuJu said she can't explain it. Someone else said that she forgave her man for cheating because she loved him that much, but im like wtf it sounds like u just don't want to lose homie.
Is love created by man? because the flaws in such a thing are blatantly obvious, yet there are cards, songs, and valentines day, and crazy expensive marriages, and crazy expensive divorces.... Is someone gettin paid residuals for coming up with such a thing.
Look, if there is a Love i hope it only happens to me once...cuz im not sure how i'd react to such a thing...i never wanted to belong to someone else (selfish) when i was a youngin ; and although i havent totally turned a complete 180 on that stance (more like a 145) the thought of being that emotionally vested in someone is....interesting to say the least. Besides I'd like to say it to only one person if anything...but thats just me...
Unless I'm doing something i really love and are passionate about i want to get a side job/hustle. Something I can do that will be a source of income and something unconventional. I believe some people call it moonlighting. I wanna moonlight son lol
For the longest ive considered becoming a tattoo artist/ "tattooist" (person who does the tattoos) I been drawing for a hot minute now and seeing my art branded on somebody would be fulfilling. I wouldn't do it straight up though cuz i didn't get this degree for nothing but i can see it as a side hustle.
Another "side hustle" that I've considered lately is becomming a dog breeder, I'd probably wouldn't specialize in pitbulls though like most black breeders lol. Ima probably fuck with dobermans or something, anything that commands plenty of demand feel me? Thats probably why I'm goin hard taking care of lucky. I wanna prove to myself that I can be responsible for another life, even if it is just a dogs....if u kill a dog a week, a month, a year after you got it....Immm thinking you defenitely cannot be a dog breeder lol.
Its something to think about, although I am driven to make something signif with myself, I'm not even thinking about making work my all like some heads out here. Theres life beyond work and its not a lesson i'm trying to learn when i'm 40...
IIte yo, This is Lucky, cheesy name but that is what he responds to (sometimes). As i said previously he is our new addition. I'm don't know his age or his Breed (that is a bit cloudy, I'm thinking some type of terrier, LOL) but yeah, homeboy is OD ENERGETIC!! Its like he one of those squirrels on the street, shit he looks like one! I say this cuz he OD hairy i think its a bit much for his size and breed (maybe). He was/is a street dog, His previous owners/finders had no room for him so yesterday morning they called moms and asked her to take him in, she then came and asked us (my brother and I) and of course we were happy to take him in.
Now, surprisingly my mother was veryy OK with the idea of having a dog, I remember i told her i was gettin a Rottie and she was like "nooo, the house is too small!"; "noo I'm scared of dogs!!"; "nooo!! he may push grandma down the stairs when she visits!!" Now all of a sudden we get shorty over here and she kissin up on him lolol, what a effin world [ i'm still gettin a Rottie/doberman tho 8-) ]. Anyway He didn't sleep last night but he didn't make much noise. I took him on a walk and yes he is one of those dogs who you cannot walk past if you walkin your own dog cuz Lucky does Buck!! He almost had an unleashed Labrador all up in his scrawny azz!! lol (he skinny).
Feeding him was a problem cuz he wouldn't eat, he'd just lick his food, nibble here and there but, nothing....now when it came to dinnertime (human dinnertime) and chicken was being cooked, homeboy ate his chicken up like he was in a commercial, real talk. As for shits and piddles, he don't do that in the house (as of yet) as soon as we are outside he does his business [he street! but he civilized...Ima nickname him slimm thugg]
Anyway I definitely babbled on enough, i just thought I'd record this day...
Oh yeah Pics...
Like i said.....John Stamos hairy!
Hopefully when we get the whip back we can take him to the ASPCA or a VET so he can get his shots ($$), a checkup ($$) and some info on the bugger, ohh and a gottdamned shape up ($$)
PZ
Yessss it is so and it was uhhh interesting.
Last august i met this chick we started talking (literally then figuratively). We got to know each other and i couldn't see her before i left for school, i was tight but that (late) September I came back home and we made plans to see each other. While I was away at school we sorta were together unofficially, she just got real emotionally attached to me and i guess i did too. Physically she was right, cute, thick the whole nine its just that she had kids by some other dude. I had to watch my step cause I didn't want to get too attached cuz I couldn't really be with a chick with a kid, the only complications i'm willing to accept is the complications that come with money. ...So late September i go back to Philly and I eventually see her and we do the "do" [sex doesn't neccessarily have to complicate...right?!!??].
I immediately deemed it the best sex I've ever had cuz yooo it was just that good, homegirl rode me right, i beat it right....shit was tight. I was in awe, even when we finished i wanted m
ore but i was scared to though cuz of complications with the condom. We got scared and eventually our fears were realized but we dealt with it. Ever since, i never talked to her again but i think about her from time to time and that's where the dream came in.
No the dream wasn't about no sex but it was about to come to that. We met at that Philadelphian monument with the LOVE words on it. I think its called LOVE Park [moment of realization, there is no way i'm in love so if u are reaching, stop, breathe then keep reading]. I was sittin down she came over then all of a sudden we're talking then buckets of paint pop up at certain points in the park. We talk some more (its unintelligible but i remember feelin mad involved) then we eventually each get a bucket of paint and start walkin. Then all of a sudden flashes of us having sex in a pool of paint swarm my dream. She riding me with purple paint all over us; I'm hittin it from the back with red paint all over us. The bed just became a swirl of rainbow colors. [ i think i came on her face with some yellow paint, I'm not sure but it ain't impossible (i don't cum on faces anyway, I stay strapped up)].
I'm a rawdawg virgin
Eventually we go back to the part of the dream where we walkin with a paint bucket each. All of a sudden everyone picks up a paint bucket then starts following us, i got the feeling that they wanted it to happen they were helping us transport paint so we could do the nasty. As we walk up to a hotel everything starts getting cartoony. The hotel had a line n shit and we were waiting. We start hugging up and kissing. We were doing that for so long that we started "crusting over like a sugary sweet"...yeah like Langston Hughes' "A dream deferred". We became cakes or sum shit and then everyone in the line just ate us.
It kept replaying and each time we were some different type of edible sweet....shit was crazy!!
I woke up around 10 (saved by the cell phone alarm) and i was missing homegirl like a muggg!!
I almost felt like calling her and seeing whats up, ohh and i was horned up like moose!
I wonder if i should call her tho...
Yess i kept this dream in my head all day lol
__________________
In other news; we might be getting a dog!! Someones newborn may be allergic to it so we mayyyy get it if the doctor says she's allergic.
EDIT!!!
1052 PM
We got a dog lol his name is lucky for now, iunno why but i threw the Cicero thing out there and my brother is feeling it a bit too much lol I wanted that name for a big dog, which im still gonna get but lil lucky is lookin to be a part of the fam, Pics commin soon i hope the people who read this can tell me what breed is he im guessin a terrier but im not as sure..
The baby isn't allergic but the dad aint too fond of dogs so they gave it to us anyway.
Pics commin soon
About the blog SURREALITY, I think i figured out what was buggin me. Although it is a bit awkward to say fuck it. Basically the way i have had sex then and before my ex and the way i had sex with my ex are different. So there is two types, the less connected bang bang dick (B4-X) action to a more...umm..connected way of havin sex when I'm as in tune to the chick as i am myself (during-X). I'm not finna go in depth on my "style of sexing" but i has havin sex so much in the latter form (during-X) that it went over to the chick mentioned in my last blog and that gave me the heepie jeepies cuz.... well.... she wasn't my ex and she shouldn't have gotten "dicked" like that, she definitely enjoyed it tho cuz my sheets were a mess...Yeah sex is sex but (IMO[In my Opinion]) you don't fuck a jumpoff like you fuck ya girl, Ive never heard it before i guess it was a schema [inscribed belief] of mine that I didn't know about, until now...
damn ima be sore tommorow...
Now i have this mixtape called Summer Breeze Slow Jams or something like that (copped it last summer) annd I've been listening to it alllooot these past couple of days. Now I've stumbled onto mad songs that i previously didn't know the name of. Some of these songs include:
can you stand the rain (song is nutz) by New Edition
Searching- Roy Ayers who is my favorite cuz searching by Pete Rock and CL Smooth (Google em) is one of my favorite songs of all time and they sampled the great Roy Ayers so of course I'm a fan of the man. While listening to this tape i found out that Roy Ayers actually made the song "Everybody Loves the Sunshine" shit is crazy cuz Ive been wondering who sung that weird ass song lol.
"MY LIFE, MY LIFE, MY LIFE, MY LIFE!!! IN THE SUNSHIIINE!!!!"
ummm other songs include: "I'd rather be with you" by Bootsy Collins; "What you won't do for love"by Bobby Caldwell which was sampled in another one of my fave songs "Do for love" by Tupac. Love TKO, Let Me Love You Down and Time Will Reveal just to name a few more.
But that is no where near the point of this blog.... OK maybe its related but peep this song!
Inside My Love - Minnie Riperton
Two people, just meeting
Barely touching each other
Two spirits greeting
Trying to carry it further
You are one and I am another
We should be one inside each other
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?
Two strangers, not strangers
only lacking the knowing
So willing, feeling, infinite growing
While we're here the whole world is turning
We should be one
Fulfilling our yearning
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?
Here I am on my way to an interview and this song by Minnie Ripperton (who I've only heard of previously from Jamie Foxx's Chorus in Kanye's "Slow Jams") starts up and usually I'm listening to the instruments, the voice, that little keyboard solo in the end (lyrics are second to music in my world) but for some reason the lyrics scream out at me like all of a sudden i start listening to what she's actually sayin because I heard the word "come" in such a way that can only mean sex. At this point I'm on the bus Wide Eyed as FUC because this is one of those beautiful popular songs about sex!! Now I'm really diggin this song because the bass is crazy and if not a literal interpretation it's at least an entendre about sex (whether its double or triple is beyond me) but i like how she puts it.
"Will you come inside me" can probably mean "will you come into my world" or some shit, I only got that because the line previous to that was "you can see inside me". When two people are feeling each other they get a "feel" or a read on that persons aura, their views on the world, how they react to living in the same world everyone lives in (everyone reacts different) if what they see (inside) agrees with them or if she has some nice ass titties then you "come inside her", you enter into her world, figuratively you can only do it once... but if you nasty[literal] like me then you can do it again and again (after a 20 minute break and some pop tarts [if i didnt eat all day]). But yeah this song is defenitly about knowing and growing to care about a person all while the world goes on doing what it does. ...
..
.
.
... or it can be about havin od sex with someone you are yearning for, none the less it is truly beautiful.
I like songs like these because they have to mean something no one or chick for that matter will have a song all about sex, blatantly about sex. Other chicks would frown upon them and men would think they easy [lil kim, trina, etc etc etc]. But yeah, this song has been in my dome all day and I just thought I'd be proactive and write about it.
JUST BEES N THINGS N FLOWERS!!!
Yeah its like 2:55 PM
Homegirl just left and with her my libido went.
Something was just off about this, maybe its the fact that i had sex in a weird time of the day. Maybe it was the fact that she just came thru for some dick. Or maybe it was because it was the fact that the body wasn't all that as i thought. Whatever it is its nibbling at me, not biting not gnawing but nibbling.
This is probably the isht that happens when you go below your standards, homegirl looked OK but ehh when her clothes came off!!! ....
...5:22 PM
Mom is sooo funny. I told her homegirl is comin through and i thought she would flip the fact that she did the opposite shocked the shit out of me. I told herabout the chick yesterday and she advised me to get condoms!! lol heres how it went
:me: yeah i got this girl comming through tommorow
:MOM: ohhh is she nice? does she like you?
:me: iunno mah, yeah? i guess??
:MOM: ohh ok u not taking her to your room are you?
:me: (looks away, to adjust the side mirror on the drivers side of the car) ummmm...
:MOM: Oh Oh! (hatian thing to say when one is shocked or suprised) *laughs* do, do you have protection?
:me: shocked as hell,, ummm nooo i was plannin on gettin em later, i might as well go now
:Mom: Gooo!!! do it
It bewildered me because i thought she would be the conservative, protectful mom I know her to be. LOL she even told me she's gonna remain scarce throughout the whole thing. I told her good because I dont want homegirl to get the wrong idea, meeting my mom and all....she def aint there and i doubt she would ever get there.
So Chick comes through and i go through the motions, heres how it goes.
We chill in my room
I put on a random movie that ive seen already
I lay back on the far side of the bed and lay down
ask her to come by me "i don't bite" yadda yadda yadda
*
Im def not puttin the whole thing down lol but its been gettin me results since sophmore year. I guess im tired of the whole "schpiel". talkin with moms after defenitely brought some feelings to light though, the shit that was buggin me at 2:55 PM isnt really bothering me anymore. Moms comes into my room feening for some details and it was hilarious. Now at one point in my life i would have been gaurded to tell moms how i get down in the bedroom and shit, i'm not even totally comfy with fuckin(verb) people in the house.
So i let her in and she asked me how was it lol i was like "!!"
She asked me if she came here just for that and i laughed and was like yeah and she laughed. She asked me if i was gonna have her come back and i admittedly said no and she laughed and said that shes gonna hate me. She laughed again when i said she can't hate me after what i did. I also hinted to her about my routine and she swears im some type of player lol.
She even declared to me that the reason i'm feelin the way im feeling is because it was too easy and guys don't like that. I was like no isht, normally id be like " she just likes me thats all; she aint no ho" and while that definitely could be the truth in most cases but in this case I def didnt feel that way.
There was some sort of jovial feel to the conversation, it wasnt weird at all. She asked me if she was as pretty as my Ex and I said admittedly no... to my dismay. She sensed some weirdness in me and we came to the realization that i probably went below my standards. Yeah ive seen niggas guilty of doing such a thing but ive never went so low that i felt some type of way after gettin the nutt (well maybe one other time).
Point of the post is that I vow to raise my standards a bit...this is gettin too easy and too....pointless. I'm probably just used to a certain body type. I was into the thicker broads before my Ex chick but she was thin and maybe i got so used to her type that going back felt wrong lol who knows...
Today was surreal....
....but its whatever my 3 month dry spell is over, shit, defenitely over, i need to change my sheets.
