No more dating women with kids.
Ugh. I'm not gonna front though, when I left that girls door for what I knew was going to be the last time, I knew. I knew, I liked her kid as a person, more than I did her. Not because hes a little human but because he was a decent person.
He was not jaded by past failures with the opposite sex. He was not overtly socially awkward. He's a kid, he wasn't socially awkward at all. He was funny, adventurous, and actually polite!! Like, on some mornings dude would go in his mother's fridge and get me some food. A couple grapes, one of those juice baggies ( i forget what they are called), effin Yogurt! He was awesome.
For real tho, how is your child polite but you aren't!!?? That shit BOGGLES my mind! He has one parent in his life but he knows more about courtesy and about being a friend than that same parent!!? LMAO.
that's crazy to me.
Im glad I got lil man that spider-man plug and play controller. He earned that shit like a mothafucka. I spent more $$ on him in March than i did his mother. LOLOLOL.
I'm only writing this because she is shooting subliminals at me on Facebook and its taking a lot for me not to respond.
Yea I'm over it. I'm not responding. Im 28, If my name ain't mentioned, I cant respect it.
Smh I've been turned off...
Iite so I kno I haven't been blogging as much but shit a nigga can't be upon it all year long. Iunno maybe it may be time to let it go lol
Syke
So what's new? Nothin much.
I didn't wanna write shit while things were progressing cause there has to be a fuckin curse when it comes to blogging while trying to pursue something with someone. Writin bout smutz ain't nothing but when it comes to the real, ima be cautious from now on.
I'm gonna be honest was/am a bit on gaurd with this one a bit cause of what happened last time. I've been trying to not get attached to her but that just made her more attatched to me making me come around. I'm not gonna lie things advanced reeeeal fast. When i wrote this post right here been talking for about a week now n we really feelin each other.
MONDAY:
Aight so yesterday yo boy got them draws. I feel like I finally drank some water lol ok not water maybe some fuck it I was a freak deprived lol. Details?? Maybe
I saw shorty yesterday n spent the whoole day with her i must have left her crib at like 3 am. Her Pops wasn't home so we took liberties not all of em I'm proud of but we took some and I can cross a certain act out my list if u kno what I'm sayin lol.
Iite so after we did our biz...well we never really finished cuz her cousin stopped by from south Philly she was ridin with us to go to my chicks brother's crib but dammit she was early lol n we never got to finish...well i never got to finish, she was good smh. I got shorties lil man ready for the party. Then I went to go warm up my whip little did I know an FML moment would happen. I go outside n took a good look at my whip...my fuckin lights was on.
In case ur askin
Yes my battery was dead as week old shit.
After about 30 minutes tryin to flag down a passerby one dude wit a white van juiced my car up for 5 bux lol. I had no complaints I was missing the start of the superbowl at this point and I still had to get shorties lil sis. So on our way to her big brothers crib my best friend who happened to be a female Codename P hit me up. N shorty had my phone cause I was about to text moms someisht about the car. So all of a sudden she was like who's P? I told her she was on some friend isht and she took it as that but I wasnt gonna be suprised if she reacted in some typa way because the night before we were talkin about each ohers jealousy tendencies. Now me I keep it rational. Meaning it doesn't take much to raise a flag but I'm not gonna fly off the handle just cuz some nigga wrote a couple of letters on ya wall.
Iite so as we continue on from Nuke Button 1
I talked to homegirl I just straight up told her my concerns and shit, no general talk, no beating around the bush I just went forward with it.
She said she is in fact feeling me and that I'm her type of dude or whatever and although that is the case she wants to take things a day at a time because there are some issues she feels that need dealing with; such as issues wit her body (which i don't get but i never seen her wit her clothes off so...) to go from track star body to post pregbody can probably be disheartening. Issues wit her sons father n all that. So although she feeling me she ain't ready to move forward like I am....again...
..still.
Now i've never asked her to be my girl or nothing but the way things were going in our relationship (in the literal sense) was headed toward that direction and she isn't ready for such a thing.
Still
Even though her asking ME out on a date jump started this whole thing. she aint ready which is ...lemme stop.
Now i bet you're asking where does that leave me. What do I think? The whole issue that produced such a conversation was the uncertainty on whether she was feeling the kid or not and although I got my answer parts of me is saying i should leave it alone, and i told her this too. She thought i was givin her an ultimatum lol.
Shit every person I've relayed this situation to has told me to move on and I believe I should but I like her too much and perhaps its definitely to a fault because all the things that brings up a red flag in my head are prevalent when dealing with this girl.
- The probability that I am gettin the runaround
- "the chick that don't know what she want"
- the issues with her Sons father.(i hate the babymama/babyfava term). I remember effin with a chick back in albany who would stay talking about her ex, issues wit her ex and all that. this was back in 08 its 010 and shes now fucking her ex. shiet even back in 09 she was fuckin dude. Everyone is different though but A lightbulb just went off in my head when i was talking to albanychiq last night.
Maybe cause its cuffing season, maybe because I havent had sex in a week or two, maybe its cause I rarely meet girls around here due to unfamiliarity with the city as a whole and being a hombody ( in 2010 imna change my habits on that, real talk) or maybe its the fact that there is another nigga I know of who been trying to put in his bid with her (before i was even in the picture) and I dont wanna bow out and watch him gain ground on some territorial shit.
#truthis..its all of that put together, not an equal distribution though...
This blog has taught me that writing shit down as shown has shown me the reality of the situation. As long as my fingers are candid I will always see the truth that lies in the world regardless of my feeling towards it and with that comes realization. Now Whattheeefuck to do with that realization??
What a day lol
As much as i've said I would never date again you would expect me to abide by such a thing...at least for a while right. Wrong!! LoL not only did I take the last chick out (see last post). I got to take girl JS out on a date. Now i did step up to her kinda..she went on a tirade about her ex one night (again) and I just said straight up it doesnt seem like shes ready to talk to another dude, namely, me. i'm a listener but exes..i cant do, if a chick is still tied up on her exboyfriend my philosophy is to generally not even continue pursuing. Anyway...i took a lil break of communication from homegirl and she hit up my wall (FB) on some " my phone aint broken" type shit so .... i hit her up on AIM. lol, hate phones... anyway, one minute we talkin bout work and the next she kinda asks me out (women). Part of me was past the whole JS saga but iunno something could happen and she talkin about ihop so we set up a date n aything. Generally i dont get excited about goin out on dates n shit. Im on some whatever happens happens whether it be a kiss/sex or the hope/idea i'm gonna have a nice time. But this one was def different cuz her enthusiasm for it brought mine up. her status messages reflected how excited she was and i dug that. Anyway her schedule got muffed up so we couldnt do the ihop thing so I just took her to the movies...
2012....redonk movie son!
I was on some... Why the uFck are they makin a movie of this for!? If memory serves me right the whole world blows up. Well it a bit more cryptic then that end of the Mayan calendar, end of days, Armageddon type iSht but [spoiler alert highlight the next couple lines to see] ***there's an ultimate finality that no one should be able to escape right. Yet niggas are takin planes n shit over to some mechanical/technological ship and people are being left behind n shit, talk about making the end of days your own, in reality no one escapes... i think, i mean, if in fact the world does blow up where the fuck u gonna run to??.***
Seeing the catastrophe was crazy tho. the visuals of monuments we see everyday in certain states/countries fall apart and just get destroyed due to natural causes is a bit mind blowing in a cathartic kind of way. the movie almost put me at peace (as if i wasnt already) with the whole world ending thing. Although if it doesn't happen ala Y2K i'd certainly appreciate it.
Anyway making this date blogworthy was easy feat because a few hours before I went out with JS she hit me up and was like "my parents want to talk to you before you take me out" I was like :-o "huh?"
" moms wanna ask you questions"
I was cracking up! I mean, yeah, it's not your run of the mill everyday thing, at least not in my world but it excited me. In a weird way i looked foward to it, not cause i get to meet moms lol naaaahh cause i've never been grilled by the father before on some Martin Lawrence from Bad Boys II type shit. It was a new experience and I dig new experiences lol, i want to see how it would be like if it was me. I said it was cool and when i finally sat down and spoke with them they asked me all types of questions. They asked about my goals, am I in school, etc etc... Lol moms even asked me for ID lol I gave her both my IDs lol NY and PA! holla lol!
Most akward moment was when they asked what I liked about JS! I told em the truth even though I didn't really know how to say it since my attraction to homegirl is more than physical (type,chemistry, etc, etc). Anyway, I carried a sense of humor about the whole thing.. Shiet they did too! They even gave me water from a glass so they can have my DNA lol on some csi isht lol. Mad funny, Js told me her moms was a csi nut so when they were particular about givin me bottled water in a glass a lightbulb went off. Sheeit, Detective Stabler stay getting muhfuckas with that trick on SVU. It was a bit od but it was in jest...i hope. I've only seen such things on sitcoms like Family Matters or Fresh Prince so it was cool being the nervous boy taking daddys lil girl out on a date. It was... interesting. I know "cute" is a better word but i feel thats an effeminate yet accurate way of describing it but i guess it fits....unless i find a better word by the time i finish editiing this entry. [didn't]
PZ
Sent from my iPod
. Yo people slay the isht outta me. My friend stay getting harassed by this guy. He's leaving all types of crazy voice mails in her phone and he really sounds like a mental case. Why do people do this, don't they know they are fucking up your chances of getting the girl/guy even more by acting a fool in someones voice mail. Voice mails are forever (well, as long as the person saves it on their phone) and your taped rant can be played in front of anyone whenever the receiver feels like it, not a smart move believe me i know (drunk dials are a bitch). Women do the same thing, matter of fact I wouldn't be surprised if it's done more by women because a man going nuts on account of someone not wanting them is "womanly" IMO. When a woman is burned (fig.) by a man she lets everybody know. Status messages reflect their angst and it almost always shows in their attitude also. They get mad and condemn all men as dogs and all that; you got your "niggas aint shits" or my personal favorite "ima turn lesbian" lol (sure you will ). Then a day comes when they find the one who's different then it repeats all over again. In my experience I've learned that getting mad or tight over someone you just met just makes you look like a needy fool. It shows weakness and desperation, if someone doesn't want you just move on chances are you're in the vicinity of another single person who fits your parameters or who's willing to be with you. Yeah the possibilities were there but if it aint happenin it aint happenin...move on. Instead of being all imbalanced and iracible keep your head and stay open for opportunities that can arise, you'll look like a better person for it, now if only everyone else knew this shit...
Damn my thumb hurts like a motha fucka
Hmm that's how you know you've been out the game, when shit doesn't come naturally and you're constantly thinking about what you should do you aren't in your element....Im trying to conform to the elements though cuz shorty got all the right weaponry.
lips
smile
titties
thighs
ass
personality to match all that
(that wasnt a list and it def wasnt in order of importance; just so you know)
Am I the only one who hates this dating thing? Cuz yea you trying to build with somebody but you paying to build. I'm not Jerry Jones (owner of the Dallas Cowboys) im not trying to pay for a stadium thats why I stay away from the dating scene.
Case and point: This ass date here
I spent what 50 bones feeling like a sucka and i didnt even get to beat, damn shame. (Major L)
Anyway I'm sorta wary of who I date and the idea of dating in general, If anything that even remotely resembles a date comes up in conversation i get a cold streak up my spine lol. I didnt have a major problem taking homegirl out the other day it was just bowling and I'm really digging her more than the usual ass and titties thing. Ever since i got the number we've been talking everynight til 3-4 am in the morning (she just hit me upp)
Her aura is significant it just makes me wanna be around her. I def dont wanna come off strong though even though my natural inclination is to do so. Her wanting to take it slow makes me respect her in some wierd way and it makes me want her even more. Iunno... some male shit, I respect the chix i sleep with on the first night too cuz either thats how they flow (hope not) or im just special like that.... I would believe the latter. ;-)
Why is that so though?
I guess, with me, It puts her in a class above the usual chix i fuck with, well not class but i see her in a different light. If i wanna eat her out I dont have to worry about if there has been diq in there recently (ignit i know but fuck u). I dont have to worry if i have anything as a result of fuccin with a chick that did me early. Also I guess it goes back the type of chick we see ourselves spending our lives with (if that still exists anymore). Lets keep it 500 a sexually moral chick has a better chance of getting love and dick at the same time....by the same niggadude.
Sad but true but the list is too long if i had to name you all it wouldn't fit in the song - Transplants
Iite boom
So I went out on a date, nothing major we just went bowling...people seem to like that alot around here ...alot more than NY and I've always enjoyed it so why not. We go bowling and i beat her twice but that's irrelevant lol, I'm nice. So anyway we play our sets we talking, vibing and everything... I even modified her bowling stance just as an excuse to touch her; this happened like 3 times. The next two times she initiated it talking like: "where do I stand again???" Shes so sexy, i peeped what she was doing though...
Anyway we played and everything and I walked her to her whip (she drove over since the alley was near me) where we proceeded to talk for the next hour and a half ( im guessing) and I put it in my head that I'm definitely gonna kiss homegirl cuz those lips were so(ul) amazing. I just needed to figure out when and under which circumstance. Now me I'm a strategic person I just think too much specially on something like a date....this is like my third 'first-date' ever and I still don't have it down pat.
Now if I have homegirl in my bedroom watching a movie Ive seen already then I'm the 2009 Shaq Oneal Superman Veteran Status. So as she's talking I just plant her with one and then she starts acting weird lol. Homegirl is mad expressive so she starts blushing, like looking all timid and bashful. Now in all my years Ive never got that reaction so part of me is nervous cuz I'm really feeling her. Another part of me was like maybe shes just OD shy when it comes to that which is probably the case cuz every compliment I gave her was met by the same reaction So im not trippin, but then again...you never know what goes on in a womans mind (even though im tryin).
