Welll...
its like 240 AM and i feel like writing. Yo this song is the shit. Ever since i heard it over by cortelyou road in Brooklyn walking down towards Flatbush ave Ive been hooked. "The world is yours" by Nas has been my favorite song ever since i first heard it. Not only is the title ill as fuck but it empowers me a little. I dont know much in terms of where i want to be when i grow older but ever since i was a youngin i wanted to be the King, i wanted to own the world and this song reminds me of that.
The song makes me go get.
Getting hasnt always been my strong suit but i believe that when you treat the world like your sandbox you will luv life. To be free is the best gift we could give ourselves. Yea it is a gift from God but we are "kept" and restrained by many motivations, and chains and we dont allow ourselves to be free. Why do you think childhood is so fuckin fun? Because although we are kept on a leash by our parents we ourselves do whatever pops into our heads, no matter how stupid it may be or how wierd it may look to others or if its totally random.
Freedom is the gift that is under our tree that is left untouched.
What good is your life if its kept in a glass jar.
I wanna be happy, i want to experience pure joy. Can you even think about such a thing, pure unadulterated joy? sans (without) any pill or herb??
I long for it, at least for a second before i die i wanna feel it. It sounds nice...
Im bein a total space cadet rite now but damn a nigga could dream cant he?
well looks like i wont be writin about Kira anymore. We broke up...
I feel like its the rite way to go, i cant do a long distance relationship and i knew that goin in,besides talking to her was becoming too much, every time she'd catch some type of attitude, communication was wack and she wasnt ready. I dont regret gettin into the relationship but i do regret some things. Its not the type of regret that will stick with me though. Ima just go on, people are replaceable...ima miss the sex though. To be honest that was the first thing i thought about when it was actually brought up lol. ahhwell
As we continue on...
well the inauguration been over but the celebration has just begun for our new president. During the last 2 minutes of the Neighborhood Inauguration Ball he mentioned that he had 9 other balls to go to. Shits crazzyy i wouldnt even bother goin to 10 different places, he should live it up and soak it in though because come tommorow he's gonna be hit in the head with all types of shit.
His people already at work though so at least the ball is rolling for him.
Its a wonderful and beautiful thing watching him get sworn into the presidency. Its a sight ive never seen before in general; but just knowing that for the first time it is a black man in front of all the people, and its a black man saying the words, and its a black hand laying over Lincolns bible for the first time ever in such an occasion.
......truly a beautiful thing
Ive learned today that I have little tolerance for people whos views dont coincide with mine. Especially when they are so fuckin adamant about it. Its shit i dont wanna hear and i get tight hearing and or seeing it. These days some white people are tight, whether it be because of the fact that the new president is Black or the possibility that they could be payin higher taxes...i understand that but to call the nigga an anticrist makes me wonder why the fuck we are associated. I am a certain way and while i dont look for people to associate with who are like me i would like to think it ends up that way since we are kosher. This election and inauguration opened my eyes to some people and their ways. Stupid comments are for stupid people and im mad im associated with em. Anyway im not that associated with them, the two people im talkin about is some dude i went to high school with (didnt talk to each other much, he was a funny cat though) and some bitch i met through another person who i dont like and are not talking to, lol.
Its whatever, maybe im just sensetive because they are criticizing a person who is the same color as me, well maybe he's a bit lighter but still, lol. Ahh well...
umm what else....
iunno, i gots me another interview this time at a marketing firm, hopefully my ass gets that Job, hmm..is a 2 hour commute worth it, i want a Job man... lol
Why the fuck is Nick Cannon around the president, some muhfuckas need to be as far away from him as possible i feel lol. I heard Kanye was rockin a mullet to the inauguration, thats interesting. He off the rocker nowadays, but thats Kanye. His blog is interesting as fuck, architecture, fashion, wierd furniture, futuristic shit...im digging it.
Cool Runnings lol ..it aint that bad, now i know why people like it.
Its 2...well 3AM and i feel like typing.
Day one of the gym challege went down. did my thing for about two hours, i expect a sore chest and swollen triceps tommorow morning. Tommorow for back and Bi's i do cardio everytime i go to the gym.
wooow nigga pulled an ice cold braid off his head lol
I got a busy day ahead of me...well not really i just got activities lined up, mail this, do that... a non idle day is a good day nowadays...damn i hope i get a job soon. I dont know why i have such a grim outlook on life nowadays. I want me a nice postgrad job but outside of the internet i dont know where to find one... im fuckin lost as fuck. theres no way im workin at a jimmy jazz or a sbarros with a degree, my pride will not allow it. even though im finna go to grad school in the fall i want something resume worthy.
Speaking of grad school its becomming stressfull. I knew what i wanted to do but i got my mom in my ear tellin me that Urban planning aint a good idea, cuz some muhfucka told her that he has a friend who majored in such a program and he supposedly is working at UPS n shit. Me being the cautious person i am i heed the words and look for an alternative but now I'm stuck and i dont know what program to go for. Shits wack as fuck and im feenin to go for it anyway... either that or advertising/marketing, ive always been interested in that. Anyway thats been bothering me... yooo ive been stressing too much already and i just fuckin graduated college. Im not about to start balding cuz of stress and gettin grey hairs n shit. I gots to keep my cool cuz aint shit worth a balding head ya digg, not a good look at all...
My lady goin to albany tommorow add another 300+ miles to our distance away from each other... Its wierd that im not going back to albany for school . No more payin bills for a while. No more roomates..im not missing most, but i do miss it, i woulda had a shitty time anyway, i aint know anyone lol, especially since more people graduated. Yeah im glad im out of albany, at least for undergrad. Im bored reading this whole thing, so ima stop writing
Yessir
Gameday...
I'm hoping for a Baltimore Raven-Philadelphia Eagles Superbowl
Lookin for the Ravens to win it all though. Ever since i got into football in 01-03 (im not sure exactly when all i know was that my first superbowl was raiders-bucs a couple years ago). But ever since then ive jumped around a bit but ever since i saw Ray Lewis play ive been a Baltimore Ravens fan.
The whole defense was OD intense and i digged that, very fast, very opportunistic. They were fun to watch. Eventually i became fed up with their offense so i took a break from em to be a Carolina Panthers fan but soon enough their offense became anemic also. Eventually the Ravens signed Steve Mcnair and Willis Mcgahee and their offense turned out to be good. So i went back over to The black and purp.
Now they have a chance to get into the superbowl again....
DAMN I WANNA FUCK PAM OLIVER ... She is soooo fine. I always see her face whenever shes on TV. Them sexy lips, i think her nose is fake though. I hate that but its all good.
Anyway i need to hit the gym more consistently, its gonna be a busy week for me. The jobsearch, im finna get my permit this week, i have to send out some letters back to albany to get my letters of recommendation set up. AND I GOTTA WORK OUT ALL SEVEN DAYS!! Im writing it down right now!!!
I D.V , HEREBY VOW TO GO TO THE GYM EVERYDAY NEXT WEEK AND AFTER THAT WEEK I VOW TO GO TO THAT GYME MORE THAN I HAVE BEEN GOING PREVIOUSLY
X_____10211985_________ (SIGNATURE)
I heard its bad for you to go to the gym everyday but fuck that im 23, not 33 and im gonna do me. Im sure im gonna say that to myself during the week to convince myself not to go but fuck dat..i need to move forward.
On to the Game....
Sleeping became synonymous with the scent of her hair
her eyes were that of a mystery movie,
a movie that scared me of its captivating potential
i was captivated none the less
couldn't help it, im a sucka for her breasts
her beautiful lips
brown sugar skin tone
her harmonizing voice puts shivers in my bones
shes the extension of myself
an outer part of me
thats my wifey, my queen bee
from hearing her moan as i move inside her
to laughing, making jokes, watching the wire
i cherish my time with her
cuz when shes away my disposition suffers.
a lil somethin something... we was texting all types of stuff back and forth and i got all poetic on her, in turn getting poetic in general, it mite as well be about her...
oh yeah i got into this show: Bad Girls Club and my conclusion is that them bitches are crazy. CARAYZEE they stay gettin kicked out of clubs and shit and they stay yellin at muthafuckas..its actually getting tiring so i think im gonna stop watchin it. The light skin chick could get it though.
other than that nothing today...
iite....yo i swear the the act of me writing down my problems and everything that has ever bugged me has helped me out. Its got to the point that the stuff i was worried about and my lifelong struggles has just went away.
Whats with girls and mustaches.
I been seeing that alot lately, alot more then i have in the past and im NOT feeling it. Its so distracting cuz in my head im like thats not supposed to be on your face.
Then i go on to thinking:
" how come they dont just shave that shit?"
" dont you see it in the mirror when you check yourself "
" that is so unnatractive"
lol, im whilin but really though. I'm not trying to kiss a female then feel hair on my lips!?
I have done it though. This white girl had it but i didnt even notice it until i kissed her. I ignored it and wound up beatin. whatever she a slore anyway.
Ive been sick for the last couple of days. Im gettin better now but it still sucks.
A new year is upon us, and im diggin it. this year we are going to see a black face (or a mixed face as Kira puts it, smh) for president everyday. We stay arguin about it. I say he black and she says he's mixed. Shes right but i can be right too i mean once you part black, you're black! Unless you look white.
This year im no longer going to school for undergrad studies. i wanna go to grad school and im gonna try to get in for the fall semester. I gots me a 3.5 for the semester but it wasnt enough to hit my goal. I wanted to boost my cumulative GPA to a 3.0 but it just sits at 2.9 . Its a dissapointment but its not that bad. I know people who have less then that but i wanted it bad. I overcame alot this semester. I basically went from a C average to an A average in human sexuality class, doing all types of extra credit. Nooo i didnt fuck the teacher although i would if she wanted it ;->. Shes cute but she knows my girl so there ya go.
Speakin about my girl, im not sure if its gonna work out. Long distance relationships isnt my thing and it never was and now im being tested and im failing. im not cheating on her and i dont want to but fuck. I feel like she aint even tryin. We havent spoke in a couple of days. Ima extend a branch but fuck! is her fingers broken??? Im just sayin, im not feeling it...
I dont have a new years resolution i just want to advance in age, attitude and prestige.
a lil taste of some of the things i wanna do.
I wanna work a serious job that i can see myself in for a while. Govt job.
I wanna get into grad school.
I wanna lose at least 20 pounds (to finish the fight)
I wanna make money
I wanna get my licsence and a whip.
I wanna fuck alot
I wanna have a better understanding of myself and where im going in life
I wanna go to georgia
I wanna learn to play the guitar that i brought months ago
I wanna meet some gottdamn illadelphians
I wanna make a baby...lol im playin.
Hewll no
But ima let it rock though, like i always do. Ima see how the ball rolls and take opportunities as it comes along as well as create some for myself. Im cerebral as fuck and ima make it work.
Go Ravens
