COGNI.VOL...

Iite the titles of my last two blog titles can be a bit cryptic and obscure some background info can help.

Read this. London Bridge is Burning Down

an exerpt: "When I'm feeling someone, I'm feeling em but when I am turned off or i can't see myself with them anymore i douse our bridge in kerosene and i light a match. In one fell swoop a couple of paragraphs i can damage a relationship (in the general social sense of the word) to a point where it cannot be repaired. I just go into fuck it mode and say things or do things that blow it all the fuck up. As I grow I've been doing this more and more, especially if any hope is lost. I'm starting to feel that this is the case right now."

Now i'm not burning the bridge or nuking the relationship (general) because that will do nothing...Ima keep it there unmaintained for a bit and if it crumbles so be it.

Looks like I'm back down to earth cause I'm cold chillin, moving "on to the next one" (pardon the already tired cliche) Shit, or on to the next couple of ones even. I'm gonna admit, pursuing a relationship with this chick actually brought the level of my wanting such a thing down. In a way i was weakened. I don't have walls up like that anymore but i sure as hell dont do the isht i have been doing in terms of girl J.S. I'm "pooped" in that dept and yes that is pitiful lol its whatever though. Plenty of things to look forward to: the most prominent being awaiting the yay or nay for graduate school. Shiet and i gotta hit the fuccin GYM! 5 times a week fuck it!! how easy was that to write lol

PZ

ohh and thanx to yall who commented on the last post

ahhh shit


I'm beginning to understand my ways when it comes to my social interaction with the fairer sex. When I'm feeling someone, i'm feeling em but when I am turned off or i can't see myself with them anymore i douse our bridge in kerosene and i light a match. In one fell swoop a couple of paragraphs i can damage a relationship (in the general social sense of the word) to a point where it cannot be repaired. I just go into fuck it mode and say things or do things that blow it all the fuck up. As I grow I've been doing this more and more, especially if any hope is lost. I'm starting to feel that this is the case right now. Someone is feeling themselves too much and has demonstrated that they have a history of getting dudes to feel a certain way just to play them in the end. She stays telling me about it. Oh homie does this but i deaded him, fella does that and he loves me (big lol after the sentance) and not to mention the EX thing ....jeeze. Besides the long distance thing defenitely isn't my flow so why not go all pyro.
After that I was like "damn if I was exclusive to her at that certain point in time (last semester of school) I would be kicking myself in tha ass right now." So today again she mentions the nigga, as she goes on i cut her off and say imna watch the game [tosses match into the gasoline drenched bridge], she got all upset and said it was rude but damn im not trying to be like them other suckers in ya life and im damn sure not trying to be hearing about ya ex for the umpteemth day in a row...


I do this

I do this to cut losses
I do this to prove that no one isnt expendable and to demonstrate my strength, so much people are guilty of keeping the wrong people in their lives on borrowed time, fucking up their lives even more so I'm treatin it like a band-aid rip that shit right off...

Time waits for no one, while ones mind is wrapped around the wrong person, you could be missing out on someone else...

and I hate missing out

Relationships are never a threat cuz i'll erase the history and act like we've never met.
- Joe Budden