No more dating women with kids.
Ugh. I'm not gonna front though, when I left that girls door for what I knew was going to be the last time, I knew. I knew, I liked her kid as a person, more than I did her. Not because hes a little human but because he was a decent person.
He was not jaded by past failures with the opposite sex. He was not overtly socially awkward. He's a kid, he wasn't socially awkward at all. He was funny, adventurous, and actually polite!! Like, on some mornings dude would go in his mother's fridge and get me some food. A couple grapes, one of those juice baggies ( i forget what they are called), effin Yogurt! He was awesome.
For real tho, how is your child polite but you aren't!!?? That shit BOGGLES my mind! He has one parent in his life but he knows more about courtesy and about being a friend than that same parent!!? LMAO.
that's crazy to me.
Im glad I got lil man that spider-man plug and play controller. He earned that shit like a mothafucka. I spent more $$ on him in March than i did his mother. LOLOLOL.
I'm only writing this because she is shooting subliminals at me on Facebook and its taking a lot for me not to respond.
Yea I'm over it. I'm not responding. Im 28, If my name ain't mentioned, I cant respect it.
Smh I've been turned off...
Esteem must be founded on preference: to hold everyone in high esteem is to esteem nothing. -Moliere
Iite so its been awhile and im just gonna cut to the chase.
Iiite the self gifts keep on rollin.
Yah I've decided to just say fuck it and stop dating JS. Well currently i'm just waiting to see what happens, I ain't talk to her all day. It took me awhile to figure out what to do. I can't help but question my decision. I mean I ain't put words into action yet...
Iunno
on one hand I'm digging her and I'm not sure she's digging me...still!!
Something just doesnt seem all together there. I made her a cd she still hasn't listened to it after a week or so I think. Part of me is sayin yo eff it it's just a week and she has a youngin but the other is screaming WTF are u sayin. If a chick is feeling you she would have listened to that shit the next time she would be able to! Real talk!
Now I'm no Dr Phil but that about women I know! ( i assume he knows about women iunno)
If a chick wanna be wit you Unless you oblivious or something ...you'll know it. especially as opposed to a chick that wants nothing to do with you. Home girl is probably somewhere in the former half of the spectrum how deep in the left she is i got not clu, maybe she just likes the idea of me liking her, you know how women are. Knowing this I figure I'd take the initiative n just cancel our date for tomorrow (or later today) and just move on.
I hate getting got and because I've come to this realization deading the whole thing would make me feel betta about it, in a weird way. Call it a defense mechanism....
press the nuke button...it would be easier if i didnt like her like i do
*breaks the glass the button is encased in*
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Sent from my iPod
I wrote this a while back ...
*Some Notes*
"( )" = present day edit...cuz shit changes sometimes
Jah is the latest chiq that i wrote about theres a link here somewhere... Allons y (go ahead)
Iite I just got back from shorty crib (this past Tuesday) . Annnnnnd I'm on that fuck It shit. As much as I wanted to just break it off wit her I couldn't. I didn't feel like it.
Why?
A... that's some foul isht if I just left her based on her past cuz us men as a majority be on that, heavy... Shiet maybe some the ladies also. Besides just cuz she lost her card earlier and had more action than I (smh) shouldn't condemn her to umm "whoredom".
*Ahem* any way...
B... I dig (dug) her she got a body and we cliq(ed) like that. That's why coming at her like I did was...awkward and she probably sensed that I wasn't as firm on my trying to break it off with her as i should have been. She also gave me maaaad chances to choose my words and to think the decision over and that was something lol; especially since I came at her on some rude/jackass type shit. Yeah ya boy was on the phone basically sayin I didnt wanna be with her cause she was on her libertine shit. I disguised my words just a little so whatever came out was very transparent but I guess it takes some kinda "like for someone" to withstand that and it was notable.
__________
(written today)
So we broke in a three pack one night...did it thrice on another night ....
annnd
She a freak! and that's saying something when I say it, like on some OD isht! I cant get a 5 minute refractory period after i bust. Like i had her squirting all types of....i digress for crassness sake....and for the fact that i have no clue what comes out when one does that lovely umm ...its a sight to see
check that off my to do list
I'm just saying... I made her "arrive" 2/3 times (i get tired) n isht and then I get there to where she's at so we stop and the first thing she says is ohhh i "want it again" I'm like damn can i at least take the condo off??!?. Now im always down to go rounds but I'm starting to think she's insatiable..even when there are obvious signs that should tell me that arrived home she goes and tell me she lives on the other side of town wit her grandma! Feel me? Then again..maybe thats just another challenge. ohh well.. its definitely a good problem so I can't complain much, im a freak my damn self! I'm def not keeping a 12 pack on me when i see her tho.
Other than that she mad cool and she's someone to chill with in this lonely ass city, I'm enjoying that just as much. Shit and she got 76ers tickets! Part of me likes her but part of me don't, at least like on some potential wifey isht, she just don't got it. As i stay around her more and more and I'm trying to be candid but I'm bored... Its only after you get all of the 20 that u start missing the 80
Yeah homegirl wanna give me the the 20 twice over. I appreciate it but i cant see myself with her for long. lol iunno wrong? maybe. but what the fuck am i supposed to do? Give her a complimentary year of relationserviceship? I should have just deaded it back then. The thing is i do wanna be cool with her sooo ima just pretend to be insecure, nice and indecisive, you know, like i was back in 2004...
lol
pZ
Sent from my iPod
Yo when's the last time I Fu*ked a broad???
I think it was month ago. Maybe more lol i try not to fuck and write but shit why not last time I had sex was fuckin traumatic!! No fuckin joke.
See
Umm I've never been with a chick "right after" (aka during) her period. And umm let's just say I freaked out a lil. Now I have worked around these things before. No sex for a week ain't so bad cuz anticipation makes the next sesxion so much betta besides a week break ain't a bad idea since I need it at least twice a day ( ohh yeah).
Well this chick obviously needed it too cuz she let me dip me hotdog into her BBQ sauce. Ok part of it is my fault cuz I was "postponed" (she said no) earlier in the week so I needed the poom that night so I start pushing her buttons and boom I got to beat. Now I'm hittin it doggy n everything and everything all well n good when I. Nut and pull out
***Whoa..don't get I twisted I used a condom my dickskin has never felt the inside of a woman.***
remember my worst fear..
So when I pull out I look at my dick and instead of lookin at it with content and thinking of a job well done I look at it with horror and I swear I turned light skinned for a second. There was blood all over DMV (da main vein). My mind starts racin and I moved on over to her bathroom where i proceed to waste all her toilet paper wiping her blood off my pubes n isht. I was freeeeakin out and I wore a fuccin condom!! ( there was some dick remainder left uncovered)
Anyway, sexually I was a done dizzy for at leasta week that shit killled my sex drive for a minute I even stopped hollering at chix period until I met shorty from work which wasn't long after the umm bloodwork.
I may have oded but as a nigga who's deathly afraid of catching anything that may render my dick useless Id say I publicly kept my cool. Shit i remember doing at least 70mph driving back home so I can take a (chemical)shower.
So anyway during my sexual hiatus I kinda sorta practiced more than usual on jerking/jackin/wanking/wacking off. So much so that I attempted abstaining from doing it. I lasted a week (5days) lol. So yeah it's about time I come off this dryspell but I'm in no rush. Basically am celibate till I get a girl (or a potential) anyway so unless that happen my dick gonn be dryer than a column in ancient Egypt.
Shit basically ive been chilling mainly my focus is chilling,working ,studying and trying to get another legit job in my field. If it wasn't for JS I wouldn't be talking to nobody. Now when it comes to this chick i find myself...concerned a lil (right now). I've mentioned her before here and here. We've been talking on the phone every night and shooting each other lil wall posts on facebook at a rate Ive never been a part of and all that is well and good; but these last couple of days though I guess I made it over that arc like... I've never liked her more than i do now. Now that was kinda what I set out to do but before I naturally kept it easy, took it slow (for once)...gave her her space (cuz she needed it) now as i got to know her more I'm feeling her more than ever, this getting to know someone concept is a trip lol
I feel that i shouldn't show that too much though cause I've been told that im an aggressive dude lol specially when it comes to sex/relationships....i just call it Probity/Candor/Honesty. I want what i want when i want and imna do what i can to attain it even if it means putting all the cards on the table facing up.
but anyway Ima keep it cool cuz she scared of everything lol
Sent from my iPod
Asian persuasion shit
Yo I dunno what it is about this last week but I've been feeening for some Asian pu.. i mean women. Like yeah I've never been with an Asian girl before and that hasn't bothered me at all but i gotta admit im a bit intruiged. I personally only know... Umm wait, (!) I don't know any Asi.. oh wait that chick I've interned with over at the district council. She was mad cute but she wasn't stacking like shorty over here is.
<----Yummy.
I dunno what it is lately about Asian chicks that rev up my libido engine but.. shit... lemme stop lol. Part of it has to do with what makes them themselves. Their features so to speak Sexy eyes, skin color, they jet black hair. honestly I don't think they could take my dick or my sex but that's stereotyping.
:-X
Wow am I wrong for that? lemme take a right turn right quick.
I guess I want just want what i've never had. I'm not totally ignorant though, you don't see too many.... Asian ladies with black men. Mainly that's cause their families would disown them if they did. Now, of course everyone's situation is different and maybe most Asian parents today ain't like that or they would just simply disapprove. Disapprove def sounds like a safer word, less presumptive.
I feel like saying asian is the wrong term. I mean ain't Russia and India in Asia. How come they aren't Asians i just wanna be polycorrect.
Anyway
So maybe the fact that such a social phenomena exist adds to my infatuation with them ladies, weird but I think about that shit. I wonder if my sexual infatuation with Asian women is permanent. Is it? Or will it pass when I do taste that forbidden fruit. Hmm now that I think about it maybe its been in me for longer than i realize. When it comes to my ex the thing that literally caught my ear was her talkin mandarin with this Chinese(?) dude. This was before we had extensive words between each other. I was servin the customers at the on campus sbarros we were workin at and she was at the register there i was handin some fool a spaghetti and meatballs and all of a sudden a full blown Chinese Convo popped off between this black chick and a Chinese dude. Safe to say I was on notice immidiately lol. (any reason to talk bout the ex huh smh)
Anyway iunno somehow o think the answer as to why I'm feenin for an Asian chick is somewhere up there. I never checked the Asian section at spankwire before now I'm all up on it! Which further fucks up my head.
Usually I don't even think about things like that. I mean who vies to have sex with a member of every ethicity. Me myself I can't deliberately do that. I go with the flow when it comes to those type of things. I don't go round trying to talk to every woman that walks the street. I do know niggas that have... And they always late.
Wow major realization...maybe the fact that my ex was so rooted in Chinese culture has something to do with it. She's so rooted in their culture that shes currently in China studying abroad for a year. Even the way we fucked reminds me of how asian chix act in them pornos see she was a virgin and .....hmmm lemme stop. I'm just saying i got a good relationship with my subconscious its all about being honest with yaself i guess if you like me then you'd find out all types of shit about yourself as you write. As evidenced by my posts during the summer of 2008.
oh yeah i my jasc painshop pro free trial is done so i cant black and white my pics anymore. :-( there goes that Newspaper effect. not really think of this as the sunday edition of ya friendly neighborhood newspaper... PZ
Yeah i know about the whole "models are part of the reason women have an unrealistic idea of what beauty is" thing but damn...this chick is one of the many definitions of beauty we have. Shorty got gifts and I wanna unwrap em.
I don't even like ass like that, well i digress I love ass but Titties got the edge; shiet my ideal woman has to have at least a phat Cup and up (not too much tho), and something to grab on in general [including the butbut]. Its not even just the ass, she's just a real nice package. Titties aint too small and her face is amazing.
Her face good good charge, positive vibes. You know how sometimes a face has a "charge" meaning how you can sorta feel out a persons demeanor/personality just by going off their face/facial expressions. She got an ass like Buffie the body's but Buff's face was kinda stank...at least from the pics i remember from back in the day.
Here go some more:
Speaking of pregnant people i think some chick i used to fuck with is pregnant, i may be assuming but I too have an intuition (ladies). Ohhh no way its mine so she just came up cuz she called me the other day trying to get it if she was preggers i dont think she woulda wanted to fuck specially since the due date is in September (allegedly) So to digress, i don't think she's pregnant.-
So how wrong was I. Thats optimism for ya. Homegirl is in fact pregnant. I texted her out the blue with a "Hey, how are you feeling"
Ny: "fine, u"
Me: "im good, i was just asking since you pregnant and all"
Ny: " you found out thru Myspace" (how sad)
Me: "yeah, and im tight you aint tell me"...blah blah blah
Ny: I didnt know until 2 weeks ago that IM 7 MONTHS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!
My Reaction ---->
i kid u not
Yo is that shit even possible, now im not OBGYN and i havent really been around a pregnant lady. well i have but at that point i wasnt even aware such a thing called vagina existed. But im sure that certain things have to happen when you pregnant. Morning sickness, enlarged uterus lol and the like. How do you not know that you've been pregnant for 7 months. She should be on the next season of " i didnt know i was pregnant" on TLC. She was about 2 months away from having a kid on the street or sumthin.
Anyway im skeptical but it doesn't matter cuz all that means is that my dry spell has extended somewhat otherwise I don't care. Now this bish has 4 kids and she dolo. Its crazy but i understand...the way she rides a dick made it wholly understandable, she gets doown! She almost had my kid by accident. Iunno for some reason I wasnt having refractory periods (dead dick after u cum) so I kept going and my condom was so filled w/ cum that it slipped up inside her consequentially she got preggers and i talked my ass out of it by emploring for an abortion. She didn't believe in it but it worked, she got it done and I was off the hook. Someone wasnt so persuasive though.... It sucks but i soo did not want a child with her. Granted my decision to use Iron Dick to rock her world was a bad idea but I cant be connected to a woman with three other kids in that way. Cold? maybe but damn it was an accident in the purest sense of the word, the fuck was I to do??? I did what was necessary to me and I probably would do it again.
....Sad but true
Iite boom
So I went out on a date, nothing major we just went bowling...people seem to like that alot around here ...alot more than NY and I've always enjoyed it so why not. We go bowling and i beat her twice but that's irrelevant lol, I'm nice. So anyway we play our sets we talking, vibing and everything... I even modified her bowling stance just as an excuse to touch her; this happened like 3 times. The next two times she initiated it talking like: "where do I stand again???" Shes so sexy, i peeped what she was doing though...
Anyway we played and everything and I walked her to her whip (she drove over since the alley was near me) where we proceeded to talk for the next hour and a half ( im guessing) and I put it in my head that I'm definitely gonna kiss homegirl cuz those lips were so(ul) amazing. I just needed to figure out when and under which circumstance. Now me I'm a strategic person I just think too much specially on something like a date....this is like my third 'first-date' ever and I still don't have it down pat.
Now if I have homegirl in my bedroom watching a movie Ive seen already then I'm the 2009 Shaq Oneal Superman Veteran Status. So as she's talking I just plant her with one and then she starts acting weird lol. Homegirl is mad expressive so she starts blushing, like looking all timid and bashful. Now in all my years Ive never got that reaction so part of me is nervous cuz I'm really feeling her. Another part of me was like maybe shes just OD shy when it comes to that which is probably the case cuz every compliment I gave her was met by the same reaction So im not trippin, but then again...you never know what goes on in a womans mind (even though im tryin).
