COGNI.VOL...

Jealousy

Yeah jealousy reared its head from both sides this weekend. "Ny" got jealous well her actions were a product of jealousy but she got bent over the fact that i went to a bar on saturday. She called me earlier in this other firl were goin around drinkin up a storm (til she started wanting coke). She called me and i told her wats good, straight up. "Ive been drinking and im with so and so" (drunk moment) and this happened. Then she stops me and was like oh you were with a girl huh...
My honest ass just told her cuz its not like anything happened for me to have to hide sumthin, shiet i wanted something to happen but coke got in the way (excuses, excuses).
Any way i tell ol girl i was goin to the bar again and she was like... i thought we werent doin this again...(we had a heart to heart when i came back, drunk as a muthafucka, left her Ouvrir!!!! lol)
Soon as she said that i was like ???? " I didnt say i wasnt gonna drink again!!?!" She was like oh ok iwith her attitude up n shit. I was like you mad? and of course she said no because you're gonna do what you're gonna do right? you don't care about what i gotta say. I didn't say shiiiit after that because im the type to see a dumb argument comming and to dead it right there. Besides i didnt even know what to say because I AM going to do what im going to do while im out here and single...sorta.
I texted her while i was over there and she was like call me tommorow. I was like ?? cuz we usually talk late at nites n shit. She wouldnt even tell me the reason, she just said it even after i said why. I call her the next day and she was visibly tite by the sound of her voice, lol she even told me the reason why she asked me not to call her the nite before. She even went to a bar her damn self!! As soon as she said this i knew it was for spite and i knew she was od insecure about me being out here. I 'm mad she's all childish about it even tho i give her the chance to voice watever is bothering her she still chooses to go through the motions.
So i talk to shorti today and I asked her about the bar after some small talk and silent moments. Come to find out she actually went (maybe... she tells me..) and she tells me that dudes were feeling up on her booty n shit and she told me that some mothafucka even tried to take her home. I was like ?? huh part of me was like nah she trying to get me to react, but by then it was too late, i kept thinkin about it. Then jealousy reared its head from me. Its a cycle, then she says "if you want me to not go anymore i wont" . Me being the smart guy held off on saying such a thing becasue then she will feel ok sayin that to me and that is not a promis im trying to make. At least not until i get them draws first. Part of me was tryin to be strategic while the other wants to get emotional and be like no dont go to clubs anymore.
Yes i do like this girl, more than usual...but its just some in the moment stuff, or maybe not. She got me callinn her all types of names n isht lol. So me getting a lil bent about the situation is ok because we feelin each other.