"To tell you the Truth I don't tell Lies"
There are a couple of reasons why i usually tell the truth to whoever:
- Either i dont give a fuck about you and i dont care about your feelings
- or I do care about you and i dont want you to find out ive been lying to you
- or my rep is on the line and lying would fuck it up
- or if i believe the truth is better off being told
the truth can be scary which may lead us to holding off on asking the question
Me, i love the truth. I give it and i expect it in return...
umm one thing about me is i ask for alot of opinion from the people i trust, almost to a fault.
usually every time i ask for an opinion i also tell them to tell me the truth. Fuck my feelings because if I'm asking for ones opinion I'm trying to get something done or I'm trying to get something right.I ask for it alot because I'm not the most sociable or the most (how u say) .....well lets just say that some things i need guidance for and if I'm doing something wrong i'd like to know. How can that happen on a lie. Id sacrifice my feelings for the truth anyday; im mentally tough and i dont get my feelings hurt easily.
Speakin of feelings i almost forgot what its like to have em hurt. Recently during the semester i was visiting this chick i was seeing one night after work (late nite), she's known as a sleepyhead so i shoulda guessed it. Here's what happened i go to her dorm at like 1-2 in the morning and i cant get in (u need to live on that dorm to have access) i ring her up like 50 times and she didnt answer. Here i am waiting for at least 30 minutes trying to reach this chick and nothin. I couldnt go home because i took the last bus over. After those 20 minutes I go to the opposite side of the dorm and i get in cuz of some late nite stepping practice by a sorority; they saw me and let me in.
I go knock on her door and no one answers, thank God the door was open or else id be dun.
I go ahead and try wake her but she barely did so i just slept on her beanbag jawn. she woke me up and asked me to sleep next to her and i told her i was tite cuz she didnt wait up for me. as im explaining this old but familiar feeling came over me its like a pulse that goes throughout your body. shit dont feel good; the only reason i knew what this feeling was was because I felt it before. I just had my feelings hurt, as this is happening i was like what the fuck; like this emotion was some repressed memory that came out of nowhere. My cold ass forgot what getting my feelings hurt feels like. Shits crazy; its not like i think about it. I just forgot what its like. Diary you shoulda seen my face when i realized what this emotion was. I didnt cry or nothing (lol never that), just that "Feeling". feel me?
Truth is i have a hard time givin people all of me but when i did sometimes u get your feelings hurt. Thats how i knew i was digging this girl because if it was some regular jawn i woulda been like fuck you ima sleep; feel on you a little then u neva gonna see me again. It wasnt like that tho lol. Im a dude not only that im a repressed, isolated muthafucka... i dont get my feelings hurt often at least not like i used to. That's because i dont get close enough to people so that they could do me like that. Sometimes feelings got to get hurt in order for you to know that someone matters to you. Its happened again recently this girl I'm talkin to said she still gaurded about me. I understand but i thought me and her were beyond that shit. We done talked about so much. I told her about everything all these things about me and she could still feel this way.... lol shit made me move though, i got the same feeling I described earlier so...if the fact that i told her everything i previously deemed "would never tell" tells me nothin the fact my feelings were hurt defenitely did...
Later
two posts back to back...hmm
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