COGNI.VOL...

Yeah its like 2:55 PM

Homegirl just left and with her my libido went.
Something was just off about this, maybe its the fact that i had sex in a weird time of the day. Maybe it was the fact that she just came thru for some dick. Or maybe it was because it was the fact that the body wasn't all that as i thought. Whatever it is its nibbling at me, not biting not gnawing but nibbling.
This is probably the isht that happens when you go below your standards, homegirl looked OK but ehh when her clothes came off!!! ....


...5:22 PM

Mom is sooo funny. I told her homegirl is comin through and i thought she would flip the fact that she did the opposite shocked the shit out of me. I told herabout the chick yesterday and she advised me to get condoms!! lol heres how it went

:me: yeah i got this girl comming through tommorow
:MOM: ohhh is she nice? does she like you?
:me: iunno mah, yeah? i guess??
:MOM: ohh ok u not taking her to your room are you?
:me: (looks away, to adjust the side mirror on the drivers side of the car) ummmm...
:MOM: Oh Oh! (hatian thing to say when one is shocked or suprised) *laughs* do, do you have protection?
:me: shocked as hell,, ummm nooo i was plannin on gettin em later, i might as well go now
:Mom: Gooo!!! do it


It bewildered me because i thought she would be the conservative, protectful mom I know her to be. LOL she even told me she's gonna remain scarce throughout the whole thing. I told her good because I dont want homegirl to get the wrong idea, meeting my mom and all....she def aint there and i doubt she would ever get there.
So Chick comes through and i go through the motions, heres how it goes.

We chill in my room
I put on a random movie that ive seen already
I lay back on the far side of the bed and lay down
ask her to come by me "i don't bite" yadda yadda yadda
*

Im def not puttin the whole thing down lol but its been gettin me results since sophmore year. I guess im tired of the whole "schpiel". talkin with moms after defenitely brought some feelings to light though, the shit that was buggin me at 2:55 PM isnt really bothering me anymore. Moms comes into my room feening for some details and it was hilarious. Now at one point in my life i would have been gaurded to tell moms how i get down in the bedroom and shit, i'm not even totally comfy with fuckin(verb) people in the house.
So i let her in and she asked me how was it lol i was like "!!"
She asked me if she came here just for that and i laughed and was like yeah and she laughed. She asked me if i was gonna have her come back and i admittedly said no and she laughed and said that shes gonna hate me. She laughed again when i said she can't hate me after what i did. I also hinted to her about my routine and she swears im some type of player lol.
She even declared to me that the reason i'm feelin the way im feeling is because it was too easy and guys don't like that. I was like no isht, normally id be like " she just likes me thats all; she aint no ho" and while that definitely could be the truth in most cases but in this case I def didnt feel that way.
There was some sort of jovial feel to the conversation, it wasnt weird at all. She asked me if she was as pretty as my Ex and I said admittedly no... to my dismay. She sensed some weirdness in me and we came to the realization that i probably went below my standards. Yeah ive seen niggas guilty of doing such a thing but ive never went so low that i felt some type of way after gettin the nutt (well maybe one other time).

Point of the post is that I vow to raise my standards a bit...this is gettin too easy and too....pointless. I'm probably just used to a certain body type. I was into the thicker broads before my Ex chick but she was thin and maybe i got so used to her type that going back felt wrong lol who knows...


Today was surreal....


....but its whatever my 3 month dry spell is over, shit, defenitely over, i need to change my sheets.