lol
I wasn't always a laid back dude, I do feel I am an extremist though, at least when it comes to certain things.
When i was a lil youngin I was rambunctious and foolhardy (yes i said em) I was somewhat aggressive when i needed to be. I was chill but i wouldn't hesitate to start fights because words werent my forte. Instead of going through long drawn out beefs i'd just fight the nigga/friend/person...whoever, it was easier and it was an outlet. Ohhh G&D when i fought it was amazing i felt goood, specially after the first punch is thrown. There would be a while when the two people fighting would just stare at each other waiting for the other to make the first move, eventually homie or I would move and it would be on and popping. and in a weird way i couldnt wait to feel the first punch hit me, cuz if it didn't hurt like i expected it to it would give me the realization that i would win the fight, it just depends if i wanna really hurt someone. I would be crazy with it too, Eddie M's face was targeted by me in one fight cuz i didn't like the fact he was gettin bitches (just an example). I was soo angry and it wasnt getting out in anyother way but violence. Friends would catch it, enemies, frienemies ( i had a good amount of those in grade school)......
:-(
even family would be an outlet for my anger. I'd do some hayness shit to my siblings. My brother got hurt by me a fair amount of times. I pushed my cousin down some stairs, umm knocked my cuz's dome into a closet doornob... just some notables. My aggression had me estranged from my fam for a lil while, it was like i was a dictator and they were my peons.
A turning point in my life was when i fought my brother over some dumb ass captain crunch, i was taking karate at the time so i pulled all types of moves on him and it hit me that i was OD-ing, just watching him cry like... umm it like made me realize that I was doing this to my blood over some stupid cereal, the cereal spilled all over the floor and there he was crying...i couldnt help but stare cuz i didnt know what to do, i felt helpless like...u know when u were a kid and u know u did something wrong that you froze, scared to move.
At that point as i'm watching homie bawl i promised myself that i wouldnt hit him or any of my other fam unless i really fuck up a stranger, or someone who deserved it (twisted logic but i was a kid). I fought some more but that opened the door to years of unknown pacifism. It wasnt my intention not to fight anymore but it just worked out that way, my outlook on life changed and somethings werent worth fighting for any more or dying over cuz niggas is pussy nowadays.
I haven't broke fist in face since the 8th grade. I wasnt even sure i could fight anymore until i started boxing last year but i havent sparred w/ anyone, just a bag. I wouldnt even slapbox w/ niggas in fear of me not being able to stop if my nose was hit wrong (sensetive). Although ive calmed down a lil i do feel it still inside me not to be cliche but its like a sleeping giant....Got help me and the next nigga i fight
:- P
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