I had a dream that I killed somebody the other night.
Here I am, laying down on my memory foam mattress, comfy as shit, and I'm dreaming about ending a dude.
Here's what I remember from the dream...
. it took place in a subway, like, the sandwich store.
. I killed a man, a black dude, smh.
. I used my hands, I beat him to death.
. as it was happening I legitimately felt fear.
. it was gruesome
. somehow, no one saw it happen I left the subway on s16th street, center city, Philadelphia.
. I don't know why I killed him, like no clue.
. as soon as I left the store, the paranoia kicked in.
. it felt so real.
. I go through the work day and hide out in my apt.
. I remember watching the news and when they mentioned the crime, my stomach dropped.
. cops kicked down my door and I was arrested.
. the uncertainty and paranoia felt so real.
. I woke up after freaking out once I was trapped in a prison cell.
Yo I couldn't sleep after that shit. I was sweating, my shirt was cold with sweat. I dont know why I dreamed about it or why it was focused on the emotional consequences of the act. That was worse than the act itself.
I need to stop watching first 48
Peace
No more dating women with kids.
Ugh. I'm not gonna front though, when I left that girls door for what I knew was going to be the last time, I knew. I knew, I liked her kid as a person, more than I did her. Not because hes a little human but because he was a decent person.
He was not jaded by past failures with the opposite sex. He was not overtly socially awkward. He's a kid, he wasn't socially awkward at all. He was funny, adventurous, and actually polite!! Like, on some mornings dude would go in his mother's fridge and get me some food. A couple grapes, one of those juice baggies ( i forget what they are called), effin Yogurt! He was awesome.
For real tho, how is your child polite but you aren't!!?? That shit BOGGLES my mind! He has one parent in his life but he knows more about courtesy and about being a friend than that same parent!!? LMAO.
that's crazy to me.
Im glad I got lil man that spider-man plug and play controller. He earned that shit like a mothafucka. I spent more $$ on him in March than i did his mother. LOLOLOL.
I'm only writing this because she is shooting subliminals at me on Facebook and its taking a lot for me not to respond.
Yea I'm over it. I'm not responding. Im 28, If my name ain't mentioned, I cant respect it.
No more writing abouy the women I'm with.....the curse is real, after all this time.... the curse still lives!!!!!!!!???oops!!!!!!!
Smh I'm sad though.
