COGNI.VOL...

"Weak" was written in my head as I was on my way home from some situation I been through with my now girlfriend. I felt bad not writing it down cuz it needed to  recorded. It doesn't apply to JUST her.

Neither does it apply to all women.

Audience, if you are out there, chances are you know who I'm talking about.

The needy/clingy
The insecure
The self defeatist
The weak

I'm sick of em b.

Yeah, its harsh , but I'm not all there myself. See, I'm emotionally unavailable. I'll admit to my weaknesses (if you can call it that). I would say emotionally void but the "unavailable" term or the term emotionally awkward describes me perfectly.

So you could see where I come from.
If you can't ...peep this...and I'm not boasting, I'm trying to paint a picture.

1) I've fallen in love 2 times. The first time, I fell out of"love"a week later. The second time, I fell out of love  anywhere between 6months to a year and a half in the relationship. Not sure when it happened but I'm not about to open up that can.

2) I hardly ever say " I love you" to anyone. Not those two females I alluded to above nor my mother and other family members. I'll reciprocate the notion if someone says it to me but I'll rarely come out and state it.

That's not to say I don't love my family though.
Cuz I do..
But there's this meme going around that states :"what's understood does not need to be explained". Something like that. Its sums my attitude about it nicely.

3) I don't understand the healing power of hugs. I was told that they can be comforting. Sex is comforting too tho. So is alone time and meditation.

4) I don't understand venting. I've tried it but I'd rather keep to myself and try to fix the issue. People are different though and I'm a decent listener.

Whatever... please believe that neediness and emotional hand holding is not for me. I'm not the one for it, not cuz I don't want to... its because I do not understand the need. When you whine to me over something, chances are that ill look at you as if you are a whiny child. Like yo, here you are, you're trying to get me to help you, and you end up annoying me. It ain't your fault, that's just how I see things in my head. It's like we speak a different language. It's like I have on the proverbial emotional beer goggles. I just think differently when confronted by that kind of stimuli.  *Kanye Shrug*,

If I have an issue, I handle it, I forget about it, I move on. My ideal woman is a woman who is sorta like me. Someone I don't have to baby. Someone who is mentally strong. She don't gotta be cold, just don't be weak.

Anyway

I was just upset that I couldn't find that person. Then I look up and down my fb timeline and instagram timeline and I see women who have turned super soft as a result of being dicked down by a male flavor of the month.

Months before, those same women were bad mouthing the last guy lol. talking shit and boasting about their ability to be without their former significant other when before they couldn't live without em. At least that's what it looked like in my POV. Its a cycle and I'm just sick of the phoniness.

Show ya strength.... whether you're alone or otherwise.